If you aren't where you are supposed to be, it won’t work!

Today I was sitting in my office working on some things. I put my hands down on the keyboard as I have done millions of times.(with no exaggeration)
I wasn’t paying attention and I set my left hand with my pinky starting on the “s” instead of the “a”. I began to type and when I saw what was on the screen, I was like, “UGH! HELLO!”
“Get where you are supposed to be and it will work,” I told myself.
I got to thinking…
Isn’t that how life can be? We can be going on about life doing and doing, trying and trying, working and working, yet it just doesn’t seem to work. I think back to my life and can’t help but shake my head and laugh at how hard I was trying to get my words to come out on the screen and not realizing I was in the wrong place. No matter how hard I hit that key with my left pinky, it was STILL going to type an “s” and not an “a”. All I needed to do was quit looking at the screen or looking at what I want, gonna do, gotta do, etc and look down to where I was at and realize I was in the wrong place. If I had made that small adjustment of shifting just a bit, it would have worked.
A lot of times, I think we get so familiar with something, some place, some one and we just assume we are where we are supposed to be. It’s important to look down, make sure are feet, our life is where it is supposed to be so it can all work out.
Just a thought…
Happy Wednesday, folks!

Happy Thanksgiving and a new chapter!

Greetings all!

I am going to be starting a new blog that is a bit more personal and in depth. However, it is not one that I am going to open to the whole world yet. So, to ensure I am aware of my readers, if you'd like the link to the blog when I get it going, send me an email at elicara@hotmail.com and I will send you the link. I may still leave this one active (although I have been horrible at updating it), but the other will be my primary blog.

For a quick update, things have been very busy for us. We had our wedding and it was amazing! I have put a couple of pics below. We had Thanksgiving yesterday with family and are just enjoying our time together. There are lots of changes that have happened in my life and are happening now. In all things, I am grateful!

I look forward to the next season, I cherish the seasons that were and the one I am still in!

All the best to you and yours!!!


Blessings!!

Harvest Home

Greetings and happy Friday!!
I just wanted to throw up a few quick pics of the Harvest Home. It is just the outside and I will get some up of the inside shortly.
Also, some dear friends came in to help get the yard and pasture ready for the wedding and we decided to introduce them to camping....
My niece and some of my god daughters were here and we had a great time. Yes, the pics of the fire and campsite are in my back "yard"...LOL!

Hope you all have a great weekend! I will be finishing my final papers in hopes I can hold on to my 98's in all three classes and then no school for 4 weeks! YES!
And I will be putting finishing touches on our wedding quickly approaching! Have a great one!!!

Intolerance, Birthday, and Thank You!!!

Greetings all!
It has been a while since I last blogged. There is LOTS going on but all is well. Wedding plans are moving forward and in just a few weeks, Terry and I will be married...my heart is so glad! <3

I read this quote and felt it was perfect for something I have been wanting to rant on for a while. Mother Teresa said, " If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

I once had a conversation with my sister about how intolerant I was of so many things. I believe with all my heart that I used the word "intolerant" as an excuse and untruth. What I really should have said is acknowledged how judgmental I have come to be through the years. When I was younger, I used to call it "passionate for the things of Christ", in years after that I referred to it as "outrage" when things weren't the way I felt they needed to be according to my belief, be it religious, political or because of my upbringing.

Today, it is Oct 20, 2009. Today, I call it what it is in hopes that I will change it. It is judgment. Growing up in a church that, to this day, oozes of judgment of its sheep and those in the pastures around it, I see how horrible it is. When I had the opportunity to work with young people, part of what I felt was my gift is that I truly did not judge them. I took them at the place they were at and loved them for that. Now if you ask me how I was with adults, the story was different. The fact of the matter was that I felt that "they should know by now" so there was no excuse, therefor they did not receive my love in any form.

Today...to my shame, I still struggle.

I find it interesting that when I click on the Entertainment section of Yahoo, there are pictures of celebrities and as I read through the comments, they are all commentaries as to what each person thinks of what they are wearing, what they look like, if they approve of what they are doing, where they are, etc. The sad thing about this is that it shows how intolerant we all are. We TRULY believe that what we have to say must not only be heard, but acknowledged and adhered to!

As I have thought about my intolerance and all those that have crossed my path, it saddens me. I don't want to a be person that judges. Yet, I have to be honest...the way this blog was sparked was because I was being judgmental of a person being religiously judgmental of someone else and in turn replied, "I hate intolerance". How hypocritical is that? UGH! All in all, I scribe these few words in hopes that it will spark something in me and hopefully, you my three readers, and that we would be honestly honest (yes, that does make sense) in acknowledging how far our intolerance...a-hem...our JUDGMENT goes. ...eh...just some thoughts!

As a close, I would like to wish the man in which I am in love with a wonderful birthday today!!!! Terry, you are the man my heart has always desired. Just as the man that raised me, you are a TRUE man with a tender heart, hard working hands, legs that are firm and a smile and eyes that only I satisfy! You are an answer to prayer and I am so Blessed! Just a few weeks, and we shall be man and wife! You are my love, I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

Hope you all are well!

PS
I took some pics of my harvest home, so I will post them shortly.

PSS
A VERY special THANK YOU to Tonya, Abel, Becky and Mom. They spent the past three days helping us get the pasture, yard and home ready for the wedding. There is NO way we could have done it without you. You have Blessed me beyond words...THANK YOU!

Hello, Fall. I am glad to feel you again.

Greetings all!
WOW! As I scribe these words, I am wearing a sweater because it is a tad, bit, chilly outside. I love this weather!

Some random thoughts...if I may?

Last Thursday I went to the small grocery store down the road in our small little town. I rode my bike since the day was so gorgeous. I get there and as I am walking up to the sliding door, I see a homemade sign scotch-taped crookedly to the glass. "Stephen's will be closed tomorrow at 6pm for Homecoming."

I smile. As I walk pass the produce and check out counter, Emily nods her head at me as if she is being forced to. She is the clerk whose line I go through all the time. She is a young girl that hates being there...hates being anywhere, it seems. She's not very happy.

I grab my couple of items and put them in my pink re-usable bag and find that Emily's line is empty. "Lucky her," I think to myself.

"Hey Emily!"
She nods.
"You gonna go to the football game tomorrow?"
Because she isn't happy, she equally does not welcome shallow banter. "I guess everyone in this place is."
"Ya! Store is closing down for it! Pretty big deal, huh?"
"Uuumm. Need anything else?"
"Nope! That's it!"
I smile. "See you later! Have a good one!"
"You too," she says in her cheerful way....

I put my stuff in the little basket on my bike and take a deep breathe. WOW! This place is amazing...all I have ever dreamed of...and here I am. Me. In small town America.

I peddle my way through the parking lot and make my first right turn. As I go around, I see a lady standing on her porch arranging pumpkins. She has the most amazing wrap around porch and two little living rooms situated on each end. The porch is the the crown for the emaculate yard she and her husband keep. She stops here arranging, looks up at me, smiles and waves. CHING-CHING! I ring the little bell on my bike. (Yes! I have a bell on my bike..shut it!)

I peddle on. I hear a little girl in the distance. "Poppa, are we gonna make chicken or steak? Is it going to be the yucky sauce or the one I like? I don't like chicken...but maybe...."
I smile and without hearing another word she says, I listen. Her dad cleans the grill, she bounces the basketball that is half her size. Her little shoes paddle across the rocky driveway that leads up to their small cottage. The screen door slams on the frame as her older brother comes charging out.
As I pass, they look up. They wave. CHING-CHING! "Poppa, she has a bell! I want one." Her father smiles and giggles as I pass.

As I cross the railroad tracks, the old man that lives on the corner is sitting in his back yard as he customarily does every evening. He has 4 canoes neatly placed in his back yard and although I have never seen him take any of them to the lake, he sure does keep them in order. In the Spring he sits out on his front porch ready to serve any of his customers. You see, he raises rabbits. He sits them out in cages where his grass meets the road and open for business every Sunday. Between you and me, I think Sammy bounced into our lives from his house...but I'll never tell! *wink*

I carefully manuever over the tracks as not to have my purchases bounce out of my basket. As I get closer to the end of the road, again, I take a deep breathe. "The grocery store closes for the high school Homecoming". That is awesome! I love small town life. I always have. And now here I am....I am grateful. So content. So....just so....

Anyway....Fall is here and it makes it all even better! I am getting all my Harvest stuff up, so as soon as I get it all done, I will send some pics.

Hope you all are having a great one...I know I am!

I might let you down, but I won't let you go

I read this recently in some lyrics of a song.

Every once in a while, I hear a song or read some lyrics and there is ONE line that just won't let go.
(like Mis-carried life, another blog, in case you haven't read it)

"I might let you down, but I won't let you go"

I got to thinking...

I find myself at a place in my life where my landscape has changed. It isn't a bad or a good thing, it just is. One of the major things I see has changed is the circles in which I stand amongst. There are people that were in my life a year ago that no longer are. People that are new in my life in which I never even imagined before. There are some relationships that have taken a hiatus and I am still at a loss as to the why's, what's, when's and where's of their departure. It is in these in which I wish to comment today.

I have never claimed to be a perfect person. Although, sometimes, my direct, aggressive and confrontational nature occupies the stage of my little life, before the curtain closes, my loyalty, sincerity and kindness will always close the show. As previously noted in my previous blog, I no longer feel that I am in the place to "fight" for those relationships that no longer exist. However, I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss them. Because I do not know why they have ceased to exist in my life, I am at a loss. It is as if they are unfinished chapters. There are times that I feel sad, others upset and then those where I feel indifferent. Mostly, tho, I think I feel a sense of really wanting to understand. I feel that although my "first face" of being aggressive, etc is what most know, when it comes to my inner circle the last face is the one that sustain these relationships. So I have to wonder if somewhere down the line either I left or these relationships made a hard exit to the door before the saw the last act?
I don't know...either way...the bottom line is that even if I have let some down. Disappointed. Angered. Caused them to feel left. I still haven't let go.

I don't want this entry to be somber. However, it is something that continues to sit at the forefront of my mind. I know, I know, some might say, "well com front them". Problem is that I have. Over and over and there is little to no response...and it is in that that I must move on. I guess these few scribed words are just ramblings...

I apologize it has been a while since I last wrote. Things have been quite scrambled. The combination of doctor's appointments and the constant wondering (not worrying) has plagued much of my time. HOWEVER, in the next breathe, so has the preparations for the upcoming nuptials. We got the pictures from the "Engagement Photos" back. I was pleased with how they turned out! (I have attached a few)

Work is cranking and life is moving ever-so-quickly! I was looking at my calender last night trying to sync it up with Terry and the rest of our lives and I am already through the holidays and into February in my head. Lord willing, time will slow for just a moment so that I can inhale the grace around me!

Anyway...I just wanted to check in with you all! (whoever is out there and reads this) LOL!

Tomorrow is the start of Fall! My heart sings!









































PS
A few months ago I blogged about a cake topper I had found. Well, I had one made!
Take a peak! It's Terry, Myself and Bruto, my beloved donkey!!

Have I lost my fight???

I look around and everything still looks the same. Let's see....my hair is still long and curly. My eyes are still brown. I am still vertically challenged. yep. I still LOOK like the same person.....but something has changed.

I go on about my days and all seems fairly normal, except for one thing....I think I've lost my fight. What I mean is that I think I have lost the desire to fight. It is very surreal. Not a bad thing...I just don't really feel that I need to fight for everyone else's injustice. I don't need to fight because something is not being done the way I think it is supposed. I don't feel the need to try and "help anyone understand" anything. For the past year I have been saying, "it is what it is". I think I have finally REALLY adopted this and not only are they words, but actually what I believe.

The other day I was watching this stupid show called Whale Wars. It is like a car wreck! I just can't turn it off. Animal planting had a casting call for the biggest imbeciles and put them on a ship. These idiots feel their greatest cause is to save the whales they believe are being killed wrongly by the Japanese. If you haven't seen this show it is hysterical...you should try and catch it!

However, last night I wasn't laughing as I watched. In fact, quite the opposite, I was almost in tears. Why? Because they showed one of the hunting ships chasing down a whale for miles and miles, finally spearing him and reeling him in close to the ship where a man on the deck took a rifle and shot the whale.
BANG!
You can see the whale coming up for air
BANG!
He is bleeding out horribly. The commentator speak of the stench of the blood
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Eight shots and twenty minutes later, this poor whale finally died.

...I was sad.

That's it. I was sad.

There wasn't, "I was sad and then so angry I wrote a letter or called so and so or started researching this or that." I was just sad.
At work, there are situations that have happened where I just sat and listened. I walked to my office and was upset. But it ended there. "It is what it is", I mumble under my breathe. Things aren't perfect with my family all the time and at times, I feel hurt and upset. "It is what it is".

What is it?? When did this happen to me???!? I used to fight for every cause in which I felt there was injustice! If I felt injustice against me, the fight was there. Now....I just leave it....and pray it will work itself out...but I don't feel the need, desire, will or even energy to try and change opinions, move people or items to favor what I believe to be the right.

This is a very new place in my life. I am not sure where or when it started. I just know that it is here now....and quite frankly, I very much appreciate it. It's not that I don't care because I seriously DO! I just don't feel that I need to fight for it anymore. I mean, things are what they are. I can try and put in my three cents, but that is the extent to where I go. I no longer feel I need to drill it in or start a movement. I just feel like I need to let it be and trust that it will turn out in a way that will benefit all...and if it doesn't...well..it is what it is!

I'm still the same person..only different. Life reveals things to us in it's ever-so-slow ways...and I believe it has revealed that those that are really there for you, that really care for you will push into to you also; it won't be one-sided. If the situation doesn't move the way we feel it should, either I will come to my senses or the other parties involved will and it will weigh out perfectly.

All in all, it doesn't mean I won't fight for an outstanding cause. But I just don't feel like being anyone's soldier anymore. Nor do I feel like everything has to be a fight. Kinda like the father in the movie the Patriot...despite who he was, he was ready to stay home and be a dad. That is me...I am just good to be. I appreciate the small things and those who have chosen to be in my life. If you aren't and I have stopped making contact, my heart for you has not changed. I still desire to have a relationship...I'm just waiting...being. I am still here.

I have lost my fight, but it is well with me.

Having a beautiful moment!

I just had a moment. I was speaking with one of the families I get to serve and they had a little girl that kept looking at me. She saw I had my engagement ring on and she took the silver ring of her right hand middle finger and put it on her left hand ring finger. I had a pen I was clicking as I spoke to her parents and she got one, held it as I was holding mine and started clicking. When the conversation with her parents died down, I looked at her and said,"En dos semanas comiensas escuela, verdad?" (In English, "You will be starting school in two weeks, right?")
She cowers her head and whispers under her breathe, "Si". ("Yes")

Her dad tells her in Spanish,"You are going to school so that you don't have to pick up trash and clean up after people".

She looks up at me while she responds to her dad and says, "I will go to school so I can be beautiful like her."

Now I cower.

We chuckle over it, they leave and I come back to my office to write this.

I am touched. So dumb, I know, but I am. It is not about being called beautiful, but I remember being a little "squinkle", mexican kid whose family didn't have much and I would see, "los rico-chones" (or people I thought were rich) and I remember if I saw a girl I thought was rich with red shoes, I wanted red shoes. Ya, mine were probably the $4 special and looked NOTHING like that rich girl's, but to me, I felt fancy in those shoes.

I don't know...I guess I just had a moment of remembering how I saw things as a child and how I see them now. And although I may not always be right, I am grateful!

I'll be out on the lake this weekend, hopefully! Terry got the boat cleaned and ready to go...late in the season, I know, but none-the-less!

And then Sunday??? I can already hear the music....NFL!! Pre-season, yes, but football none-the-less!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

In my opinion....

Breast.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read that word? For some, it may be something sexual. For some, it may be something in the lines of nurturing and for some, it may be chicken that comes to mind!
The other day, I was listening to KRLD (yes, I am an oldie moldy and listen to news radio) and they were talking about this doll that was made to “teach breast feeding”. To describe it, it had a little vest that the little girl put on with two pink flower-looking things where her nipples would be. The little girl then gets the doll and the doll makes suckling noises when the little girl brings the baby’s mouth to the flower-nipples as she mimics breast feeding.
On the radio station’s site, they had poll asking if people felt that a doll that teaches little girls to breastfeed was inappropriate. 86% of the people who voted said YES, they felt it inappropriate. So I posted this on my Facebook to see what people thought.
After a day of some passionate opinions, I thought I would re-cap and share some thoughts. In fact, this morning, when I was driving to work, it is all I was thinking about. The opinions expressed on my Facebook wall ran through my head like a script.
There were some that expressed that it was gross. Some expressed that it was a good idea and we need to stop sexualizing breast and breastfeeding. Through that, it sparked a separate debate about the purpose of breasts. Is it to feed or for sex? Some say both, some say no.
Here is what I think…
The fact remains and will always remain that our opinions about issues are formed through our life’s experiences. And because our life’s experiences change all the time, so do/will/hopefully will our opinions.
When it comes to this issue, I am a HUGE proponent for breast feeding. I see nothing wrong when a woman is nursing in public, as long as she is being discreet and not flapping around everywhere. I do not believe that breast are only for feeding nor do I believe they are only for sexual use.
However, here is my opinion based on my life’s experiences. Unfortunately, sex has been a strong issue in my life. After living a life where unfaithfulness, sex addiction and addiction to porn were prevalent in my married life (not by me),I do carry somewhat of an edge when it comes to “breasts”. The fact is (in my life) that our society does, indeed, associate breasts with sex. When I was in Africa, there were woman who would be sitting around and just plop out and feed their children with no nursing blanket and not one person bocked. Here, in the US, however, because of what media, society and lack of GOOD parenting, breast=sex.
Having a doll that “teaches” this does not help or promote anything, I believe. I think that if a little girl sees her mother breast feeding her baby sister or brother, she is going to mimic it just as she would giving them a bottle or mixing formula. I do feel that it is important that a mother take every opportunity to talk to the child and explain the what, why, when’s, how’s and where’s.
Here is an example. A few years ago there was a story about a single mother that was still breast feeding her 9 year old boy. Yes, you read correct! NINE YEARS OLD!
I remember watching the video of her being interview and there was a cut away that showed her sitting on the grass at a park and her 9 year old big son, came up to her, lifted her shirt, moved her bra and latched on. She had made headlines because her son was taken away from her. Then returned. Then taken away again. Then returned. OK….this can go ALL kinds of ways…can she even produce milk? How long is too long? Etc, etc.
Here is the thing tho. When you look at the kid, he thinks it is completely normal. To him, it is a normal thing. Despite the fact that it is taboo to society, he thinks it is ok. So, I ask, does that mean it should be ok since it is ok in his home? Well, my response to be would be no. He HAS to function in a society one day. That doesn’t mean that he MUST conform to the ways of the world, but it is NOT ok that he be talking to his friends (if he has any) at school about suckling on his mom’s breast. That is not ok in my eyes.
Yes, I know this is an extreme example, but again, I think it comes down to the fact that we can say over and over again that “society this and society that”…but the fact of the matter is that we all have to acknowledge that despite our belief on this issue or another, we do still have to function in this society. I know, I know…those in the church will quote me, “but we are in this world but not of it”. Yes, I know. I am NOT saying that we are to conform to this world. Simply, my statement is that we do still need to function IN it. Not OF it. Not FOR it. Not AS it. IN it.
So, all in all…as we continue to live this life, our experiences are going to shape how we feel about things. We can say that we will “never change” what we think, live, and feel. But I would really challenge that. Because just as we can not determine all of the what’s and how’s of life, we equally can not determine what our reaction is going to be and how we will be changed.
In my life, there are so many things that have changed in me just living through these last 3 years. My personality is very much the type that has to have control of any and all things…but the moment everything moved and slipped out of my control was truly a learning life for me. There are ideas I had about what my career was going to look like, who I was going to be friends with, who I would date, how I would function, etc, etc….then life happened. In all that life, admittedly, I questioned things I never thought I would. I remember a moment in my life when I was questioning why I spent my life in ministry, why I gave so much, why, why, why and why Christ. I remember talking to myself just as I had spoken to so many before that were slipping away from their walk. It was brought to my remembrance about how after I spoke to them, I felt so BAD for them. It was incomprehensible how they could ever even QUESTION God. I didn’t understand. And, shamefully, I have to admit, that I did judge them….my feeling bad was oozing with judgment.
Then when I found MYSELF in that place…all of the sudden, I understood. I understood the battle of the mind and heart. The battle to not fall in self pity. The battle to even TRY to believe there was hope.
I only share all of this to say…in all things, we will never fully know the stem of a person’s opinions until we are them. Some would say, “oh ya! I went through this and that and it was similar”. Yes, maybe. But we all live our own lives, with our racing mind, with our heart, with our experiences….so that would make it not the same.
It is because of all of this that I can say, one of the BEST changes that have happened in my life these past three years has to be that I am able to listen, see, and sometime feel…but refrain from making a judgment. I may never know where people have truly been….and their opinion is theirs.
Anyway….again…thanks to all who joined in with commentary. I know this blog took a little bit of a different spin, but just some thoughts…
Hope everyone is well!

Welcome Sammy!

Good morning all!

I am up nice, bright and early and feeling great! I had bootcamp this morning and I am certain that starting next week, I will not be able to walk. All week, I have been feeling it, but this morning's workout was intense!! It is interesting getting up so early all the time...I'm really not sure I like it yet. LOL! The other day, I was up at 5am driving to class at it was already 75!! What the?!?!!

Anyway, before I head outside to get work on the yard and gardens, I wanted to get a picture up of the newest member of the family....he just "bounced" into our lives.

Everyone, meet Sammy. I was watering some of the plants in the back and out bounced this little white bunny. I thought, "oh cute!" I continued watering, thinking he was wild and I saw him bouncing in the front yard. Then he starting coming closer. I called Terry and he saw him and said, "he's tame." Oh-Oh!!! *she smiles*
I got up close to him and he let me pick him up. He is SUCH a sweetie! VERY spoiled!! So he is now the baby of the fam! He is so cute because he stands on his hind legs when he wants to big picked up....completely endearing!

Anyway, take a look! I can't wait to show him to my niece and god-daughters...they are gonna love him! He'll sit on your lap forever!


He is an indoor bunny and had a little collar with a bell. However, the other day, I went to feed him and I notice his collar was off...little sucker chewed it off! LOL! SO, I ordered a little vest harness for him...he's going to be begging for the collar! LOL!

Also, we went to the ranch down south to feed the animals there and get them some water. (the heat has been HORRIBLE) The baby sheep are getting SO big! I took a picture of the big ram there...we call him Poppa. He is large! He is so funny, tho, because he sits under the feeder waiting for it to go off...it was the funniest thing.


Terry and i are thinking we are going to need to bring some of them up to the pasture here so we don't have them crossbreeding. That will be interesting because we'll have the 4 hair sheep, 4 Texas dall sheep, 1 donkey, 2 dogs, 1 bunny, 2 pigeons and 2 doves....uh...ya! I'd say we are working up the ranch pretty quickly! LOL! I can't help it tho...they just kinda come into my life...*smiling* we love it!

Anyway, hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Celebrating my one year blog anniversary!!

So it has been a year since I started this blog!

Well, actually, the anniversary was a few days ago but I am just NOW getting to this write. I have several blogs I have written that have yet to see the light of day... a lot of it because they don’t have the depth I would like them to, some because they just aren’t done and other because it will take brave moment for them to ever see the light of day.

But for today, let’s update! This morning I was sitting outside having my coffee thinking about all I had to do today, this week, this month and my thoughts were interrupted by a tapping. “Tap, tap-tap, tap.” I look around…see nothing. “Tap, tap-tap, tap.” I look towards the gardens, past the shop, around the shed…nothing. “Tap, tap-tap, tap.” I sit back down and watch as Bruto chases the sheep. The squirrels are pounding and the blue jays are teasing them, threatening to take their corn. “Tap, tap-tap, tap.”

I look up. There! There it is! Way up high, where it looks like the tree top touches the clear sky, two birds perching on the very top of this very tall tree. As I look up at them, one of them looks down at me and with a quick flick of the neck disregards me and peers passed our pasture to look at what I am sure is the lake. “You have the best view in the house”, I whisper. I spend a few moments admiring him when a small breeze gently touches my face and pulls me out of my gaze…I take a deep breathe.

I am breathing.

“Of course you’re breathing,” you say. But listen….my heart is beating stronger than I have known it to in such a long time. I feel that my legs are strong and firm. My hands are more productive than they have been in the past 2 ½ years. My mind doesn’t race with non-sense, confusion or doubt. I notice each breathe I take and I am grateful.

My thoughts are cut short as I hear one of the birds above me flap his wings as he darts towards the lake. I think, “I wonder if he understands what a gift it is to be able to both fly and walk.” I small smile crosses my face. I walk. I fly. I understand this gift. I am grateful.

The very first time I scribed words to my blog was when I had seen my sister’s and got inspired to write again. I remember sitting in my room thinking, “this is going to be great!” Yesterday I sat and read through my year of life as I captured certain moments with words. I can remember where I was, what happened and the vivid details of each moment that inspired each write. There were some where I smiled as I read them, in some I laughed out loud, others my eyes welled up with tears and some I smiled, laughed and cried.

I am not a woman that knows a lot of things. I hold no degrees or honors and my possessions are nothing to brag on. But as I read each word, I was proud. Proud because I have been Blessed with a family who has chosen to love me through the times that I am unlovable. I have friends that are always perfectly in season. I have an incredible man in my life who is in love with the true blue me and appreciates every moment. I am finally living my dreams on so many levels. Today, I am walking strong. Today, I fly. I am grateful.

So as I wrap my “Anniversary Blog” up, I’d like to THANK YOU! Not for reading my blog, but for being a part of all of the moments in my life that are like an orchestra, perfectly in key. All the moments you have been a part of are the music of my life and the dance has been unforgettable! Thanks for being a part of this great life!

Grateful, so grateful to the Almighty who loves to watch me breathe, smile, walk, fly and dance. Thank you!

My love,
Lizzie

Sickness sux

It is 4am and I am up again. The last three nights have been sleepless. The last 6 months have truly been trials...going from test to test treatment to treatment to "we are going to try this and then that"....

I haven't given this illness a voice...or even acknowledged it. But in these morning hours I find it important to acknowledge it. If it be in my anger, stress, hurt or frustration, OK. I see you. You exist.

Although these weeks and months have been a trial, I find that I am in the best place I could be. I have a great job who has been completely supportive and I love my work. I have an incredible man in my life who supports me unconditionally. My family is a thread that is strength to me. All in all, I can not complain.

Life has been a good one.

So despite the fact that I am physically tired, a little frustrated and somewhat bummed, I am still grateful.

Things have been very hectic, but they are good. The gardens are growing faster than I can keep up with so I know that I am going to have to minimize them for next year. Bruto is amazing! He is so affectionate and sweet.

A few weekends ago, Terry and I went to a balloon festival and it was the neatest thing. At night, they had a "balloon glow". They had the hot air balloons on the grounds at night and hit the torches to make the balloons glow...it was pretty cool!

Anyway...just a bunch of babble. I haven't made the time to get on here and blog, but I will get better...because I believe that I am physically getting better!!! (o=

Jun 24 thoughts

Greetings all!

I am working on a couple of things, but I'm not ready to speak on them yet. As soon as I locked down the details of them, I will share. I just wanted to drop by real quick to ask everyone who reads this to hold this family in your thoughts and/or prayers.

His name is Chris Welch. He was a kid that was in the Youth Church I used to be a part of in San Diego. He and his gorgeous family are leaving the Afganistan. He serves proudly in uniform for our country. I am always reminded of these "kids" that are being shipped out day after day and those that serve us here. My heart is constantly touched! Regardless of your politics, I believe these families deserve our kindest thoughts!

As we approach the 4th of July, let's not forget those that have gone before us and continue to go every day....
it is because of their service that we are afforded this precious thing called Freedom.

Chris, you, your wife, kids, parents, siblings and loved ones are in my prayers everyday. Thank you!

Checkin in

Greetings all! It is Tuesday and it has been a while since I have sat down and really written anything with substance....

uh...this entry won't be different! LOL!

Things have been crazy trying to get the animals situated. Bruto is making it home. The other day, when we were out feeding him, there were some terrible storms and he was grouchy as could be. He usually takes the apples, carrots or feed out of my hand softly...not this time! He totally nipped at me a couple of times...BUT...I don't blame him! If I was having to stand out in those storms, I'd probably be pretty grouchy too!

The sheep are growing huge and they are so cute! When we are walking in the pasture they follow us around like little children....they sure are neat to have around. Turtles are multiplying, I think! I saw 5 of them the other day.....I have only put 4 in the pond, so not sure where that other little guy came from. Next project:: BATS! They keep away mosquitos and since the lake is just around the corner, if I put a bat house out, they should make a nice home for themselves with all the mosquitos they can eat!!! (o= I just need a name for him.....

Last night I couldn't sleep...I kept having dreams about the wedding. It was actually quite comical....at one point, my Pappy was trying to get me to get ready to go and I was like, "no! I need to blog"...LOL! (Maybe that is why I am blogging before I do anything today!) Wedding plans are moving forward nicely...simple and to the point! I am thrilled there are so many of my friends coming in from out of town! Wow! OH! Bruto is going to be a part of the wedding...I just have to find a bow tie that will get around his big ol neck! I am thinking I MAY have to make one....so we'll see!

Speaking of "making", I am officially signed up for my first round of sewing lessons! YAY! They are once a week and I am thrilled! Now, maybe I can make some cute dresses...I see them all the time, but I refuse to drop the crazy cash they want for them when I know how simple they are to make! SO....sewing it is! (o=

Well, like I said, no real agenda today....now weird thoughts...just a quick update! Things have just been really busy! This weekend we head to San Antonio to meet the fam for a little get-a-way...Terry and I are counting down the days!! We are looking forward to getting to spend a little more time with my family, since we don't see them much. It should be good....good and HOT! In the triple digits already is what I am hearing....ugh!

Hope this reaches everyone well!

Just hit me....

I have had a super busy day and just right now, I had a moment to stop...and it hit me...

I am to be a wife.

WOW! I am so thrilled!! Nothing makes my heart gladder!!!!!!

*she smiles*

The turning back of America...it's a good thing!

Lately I have been reading about different things Americans are doing to try and get extra income, save more money and overall, be more resourceful. I got to thinking that I feel like it is the turning back of America and I believe it is a good thing.

Walk with me, will you?

:: Multi-family yard sales
I have seen more and more signs for yard sales that run from Thurs- Sun. They aren't just one yard sale, but a group of families, a neighborhood block or even a community that is putting this event together. I live in a small town, so as I drive by, I see the moms, dads, kids, tios, tias and everyone else setting up tables, putting clothes on racks and pricing their items. They are all up early with the expectation of not only making some money but getting rid of this stuff.

:: Fresh produce
I drive on and on the corner I see a couple setting out baskets that have fresh melons, corn, apples and other yummy produce. Right beside them sits the nicely tended fields in which this produced was birthed.

:: Free-cycle
If you have never free-cycled, I would encourage you to do so! It is a community of people that don't want stuff thrown in the landfill and figure my junk can be someone's treasure. It is all free! you give stuff away and get stuff. The great thing is that if you have stuff you have to get rid of, post an ad and whoever wants it comes to pick it up. Just leave it on the porch and they get it. And it isn't only junk....all kinds of stuff from TV's, pillows, plants, and dishes....you name it. People post WANTED ad for things they want. I have seen moms post a wanted ad for a bike for their kid's birthday because they can't afford it and a few days later, it shows that they got one!

I could go on and on about the way things are moving closer to what it used to be. I look around and I feel America is getting back to the basics of things. Ya, part of it may be is that I now live in a small town, but I see it everywhere I go. Instead of going out to eat, people gathering in homes and pot lucking just to enjoy each other's genuine company and not the meet at a crowded public place, have dinner, smile, share a few laughs and not see them till later the next year. I don't know...it just feels like the days that used to be are very much around me and I think it is a good thing.

This economic time is a difficult one. But I think it has truly caused us to get back to the basics. So despite the fact that we may be "loosing out" on a lot of material things, I think we are winning in what really matters! We just need to open our eyes and take notice.

...just my three cents this morning!

Have a great one!

Welcome Home to Bruto, Cowboy Church, and in general...

WOW!! I have always wanted a donkey....Well, I have always wanted lots of animals, but this was one on the top of my list. On Sunday, a trailer pulled into the pasture and out came the most perfect little donkey! He looks like the donkey from Shrek and as Albert said, is truly a "noble steed". I am thrilled.

His name is Bruto and he was owned by a Spanish woman and speaks Spanish....he loves carrots and apples and has been fairly good with the sheep so far. I see him out in the pasture with the kids and I can not believe it. I can not believe he is here. I can not believe I am here. I am in awe that this is my life and I am grateful. I have attached some pics of the new member below.

This weekend was pretty slow paced...I loved it! It has been a long time since there was nothing to do, so it was nice! On Sunday, Terry and I went to the grand opening of the arena at our church. We attend a Cowboy church and I love it. For those of you who aren't familiar with what a Cowboy Church is, it is a regular church, but they cater more to people in the country. It is not un-common to see people in jeans, worn out boots and hats in church. For "fun", we have pot lucks and hang out at the arena and have "play days" where people bring their horses and have a mini-rodeo. The sound of the old, country, gospel hyymms from the incredible voices of Barbara Mandrel and the likes can consistently be heard. It is great...I love it. Just down home, all American, hard-working people....

They had "stick horse races" for the little tiny kids. It was so neat to see them on their little horses, running with all they have in them! I put a couple of pic's up also. And then there was little Kadie. The tiny blondie in the photo's below. She was on this huge horse and let me tell you, she could take barrels like it is nobody's business! It was pretty amazing to see her handle this huge animal!! I hope to one day have a little girl as strong and full of courage...

I am back at work today and all is well in the world. Wedding plans are moving forward and I am excited. I am to be a wife. This truly makes my heart glad....above all else....I am grateful!

He asked. I said yes.

They say never regret....

The other day I got to thinking about when some people are asked, "what is your biggest regret" and their response (much like mine used to be) is "I don't live my life with regret".

I don't believe that to be true for myself or anyone anymore. I can't believe that we have it in us to never regret anything.

Walk with me, will you?

By definition::
1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)
2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

I think about times when I was angry and I either scribed or said words that today I don't mean.

I regret.

I think about times that I knew I should have done one thing or the other and it would have prevented hurt or disappointment and I did nothing.

I regret.

I think about times that I thought I was the coolest thing on the block. I seriously thought I was the uh....big deal. (to keep it G rated) Because I was full of so much pride and so blind, I acted horrible with people that were being kind.

I regret.

I could have a list that goes for days on things that started flowing out of my memory's bank of things I am neither proud of or wish happened.

I don't know...for people who are still living their life with a "no regrets" mentality, I would challenge that. I don't believe anyone who has any human conscience for their fellow man can live with "no regret".

Just my three cents...

PS
I found this photo and I thought it was so cute...in a sad-cute kindof way. (if that even makes sense)


I thought it completely put into a photo "regret"

Greetings all and Happy Friday!!!

Here we are on the eve of the Memorial Day weekend and I can't help but stop and think of all those that have gone before us, those who are there now and those that will continue to serve this country so that we might be afforded the freedoms I know we often take for granted.

Yesterday I was finishing putting up my flag decorations and I couldn't help but be grateful. I was standing at the gate by the pasture and I heard a woman speaking in the distance and the sound of horseshoes hitting the pavement. I looked up from the wire I was using to harness my red, white and blue bunting and saw a woman on a horse, talking on her cell phone kind of cruisin' the street. I looked around and thought, "is this for real? Where in the world would you ever see this?" Just as a child rides his bike around the neighborhood, she was riding her horse! Gosh! I so wish I could have run in and grabbed my camera! I so wanted to show you! (maybe my words have drawn enough of a photo for you?)

But as she passed, with the reins in her hand, she waved. I waved back. I smiled.

"I live in a town where people wave", I thought to myself. When Terry and I are out and about around town, as we drive over the railroad tracks the pick up going the opposite direction yields an old man that raises two fingers from the steering wheel in his gesture of "hello". I will be outside working in the garden, as I hear a vehicle getting closer, I glance up and the woman in her Expedition waves at me. I wave back. I smile.

I am excited that my parents are coming into town this weekend. I am too excited to spend time with them; to share a little piece of this great country I get to call home. In all of this, however, I don't want to take for granted all those whose selfless dedication is the true reason I get to display my Red, White, and Blue bunting. The reason I get to have this blog and share whatever is on my crazy mind.

So, as we all celebrate and plan what we are going to do for our 3-day weekend, I hope we will all take the time to thank those who wear a uniform and serve our great country. Along with their families and friends, they pay a price we will never fully understand. So THANK YOU!

To my friends, Rudi, Mitch, Steve Castrita, Cody, Carl, Christopher Aguilera, Rodney & Monica Moss, Pastor Sandra, and all the others in uniform.....thank you! Your service does not go un-noticed and I am grateful.

FREEDOM!!! Frog escapes snake's stomach.....

So this morning, on my Facebook page, there was a video posted from a friend of mine. The title said, "Frog escapes snake's stomach"...and he wrote on the caption, "As my football coaches would always say, "Never ever give up!" Got to give it to the frog for fighting back!"

So...my interest was peaked....
I clicked on the play button. OH MY GOSH! My stomach was SO upset.....surely this stupid snake is not eating the frog alive?!?!

OK....point 1
I HATE SNAKES! HATE. LOATHE. DETEST. ABHORE. REVULSED BY. (If I wasn't so lazy I would find other words online that say HATE, but I will stop there for now)
This video made me hate snakes even more. If I ever see snakes...they die! I don't care that, "it is good for the garden"...blah, blah, blah....If I see them, they die. AND...if I can torture them to have a cruel, ugly death, the better....

WOW! You are getting to see another side of me! Listen, I love animals...there are very few that make Lizzie's most hated list...but if they are...they die.

Anyway, I digress...
I am watching this video and I have a pit in my stomach because I can't even imagine the hopelessness this frog feels. (if they feel at all, don't know if frogs have souls?!) But he is sitting there for like seven minutes slowly being eaten by this snake.....WHAT THE?!?!? SO...ugg....

Anyway, I can't watch, so I move the tab up so I don't have to, because I know the ending of this video...the frog will survive, so I want to see how this happens. the snake is spooked by the dude behind the camera...Thank you camera dude, I think you saved this frog's life! Although, had it been me, I would have already taken a flat shovel and diced the snake up, NOT gotten my camera....

Anyway, the snake goes into the water and that is where you see the little frog start using his arms to try and escape. In the water, he finds his freedom! Where the snake can't ground himself. The frog finds his freedom in his natural environment...in the place he was born and the place he probably finds the most comfort in.

(Yes, of course, you know, I have a thought to this...it isn't just some sick video)

I think we are like that. We, being humans. I believe that we can find our true freedom from attacks, enemies, addictions and so forth when we return to the place in which we were born(or RE-born)...the place in which we were created to live in...our natural habitat. Yes, I do believe that place can be a physical place, but I also believe that it can be a place that we come to in ourselves. In our spirits and our minds.

I think about how desperate I felt watching the frog in the grasp of this snake....it reminded me for a moment the times in my life that I have felt so hopeless...felt that I KNEW my spirit was dying and feeling there was nothing I could do....but then! THEN! In all the Glory that is this great life, a tragedy opened the door for a new opportunity...a chance to dive in to the place in which I was born, my natural environment, the place in which I felt most like me.

WOW! I am free.

This is my life. The place in which I was born...or RE-born. The place I was created to live in. This is the place in which I find my freedom.

I am grateful.



(The link to the video if you would like to watch)
Frog Escapes Snakes Stomach - Watch more Funny Videos

Kids, kites and gardens

Quick post...I have a crazy busy week this week with board meetings, doc appt's and house stuff, so I am going to machine gun post today!

TABLE OF CONTENTS
** Kids are home
** Kites
** Gardens

CHAPTER ONE

the kids...err..sheep are home!
Willie, Dolly, Miranda and Reba made it home this weekend. They are hair sheep, so no fussing with wool....and they are gorgeous colors!
Take a peak!






















CHAPTER TWO

How long has it been since you've flown a kite? Good question, huh. Well, it was a few years ago that I bought some kites for Easter and my parents and I flew them. We had SUCH a good time! My dad got all intense about it and even went down a hill with his kite...it was hysterical! Well, now that I have four acres, I figured, it was a perfect time to see if we could all throw up some kites. So we headed to the pasture. Well, with the lack of even a tiny breeze, it proved to be almost impossible! LOL! But it was fun trying!
A few pics of our adventure!
























CHAPTER THREE

So I have inherited this amazing land with some amazing gardens and the most fertile soil I have ever seen. This place, truly is like my own little paradise! It is not only what I have always desired, but it is BEYOND! I am constantly amazed that I get to live here! It is a reminder of how the God I serve is truly a redeeming God. Everything that was stolen from me, He has not only given me back...but even more! Here are just a few pic's of my personal paradise!!