As I scribe these solemn words, I hear the sound of the cries of another childless mother. Today, it was a gorgeous day and we went outside to check on Miranda, yes, one of our sheep. (I know she is "just" an animal, but there are certain animals I believe have a soul) Yesterday, before we went inside, she was standing off on her own. We knew she was expecting and the other two sheep already had her babies. We went to check on her this morning and she was laying next to her lifeless newborn baby. From what we can tell, she had it last night and it got hung up in some briers.
My heart has been so sad all day.
We took the tiny white lamb with black and brown spots and buried in the back next to Roxy. Since we did this, Miranda has been crying and running around the pasture calling her tiny lamb awaiting an answer....nothing.
My heart is sad because we lost the baby, yes. But more than that, my heart is sad for her. She is left behind, a mother without a child.
Why this makes me so sad is because I completely know how she feels. I too live every day as a childless mother. My heart is deeply grieved. I hate hearing her cry and watching her as she goes to the tree where she last saw her child and she sniffs, looks, calls....nothing.
Despite my sadness, I am grateful for the life I have but I would be lying not to admit that this brought a cloud over my sunny day. I know that this is all part of having animals and these things are going to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know that the sun will rise again tomorrow. Just as the sun has set on my grief, it will also set on hers and hopefully tomorrow, her cries will be no more. My hope is that although under that tree is where she felt so much hurt, with the rise of the son, she will find joy in the hope of continuing every day.
I know there are others like me. Those women and men that are parents to angels. In all this, I celebrate that SON rises!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
There is no end in sight!!!
Greetings all!
It's been a long time since my last write. Things have been very busy with the holidays and all. My husband and I spent a relaxing holiday recuperating from our nuptials and enjoyed time with family.
Let me tell you! There is NO END in sight to the joy I feel! I look around me and life is a good life!! At the end of the year, I sat out in our pasture with a nice fire burning with the animals around and breathed in the clean country air and felt SO grateful for this life I get to live. This past year has been a very eventful one with all kinds of change, adjusting to illness and new adventures but the season has been a good one!
I am doing great in school and am SO proud to say that I have managed to maintain complete A's!! What a feat! I am still working full time with Habitat for Humanity and I love serving the families in Denton. Terry and I are still managing both ranches and although it proves to be lots of work, I love it! Terry and I can spend hours and hours with our land and animals and be perfectly content! This is a good life. We had two more sheep drop down south and are expected to have more babies here. In the Spring, we are planning on loading the sheep down south and bringing them up north, but of course, this will all happen once we can get all the fencing done. LOL! My nickname should be "fence" since that is all I seem to be doing these days! LOL!
Our beloved Rocko went up to doggie heaven just before the wedding, so that was tough, but after 14 years, she had a great life. It pained me to see Terry's grief, but we buried her in the pasture by the fire pit so she could always be with us.
We have a new member to the family! She is the neatest thing ever and everyday, she fills the hole in my heart for my surrendered puppies.
Her story::
When Terry and I started making plans of a life together, I showed him my list. It is a list of animals I have always wanted. He immediately got to work and for my birthday, gave me my beloved donkey, Bruto! (You should see him today, his hair is all fuzzy since he has his winter coat!) On that list was also a pig. I wanted a mini pot bellied pig and I had her name, "Peppa". Just before our wedding I caught terry looking through Craig's list for a pig. He told me he found a lady who breeds mini pot belly pigs and thought we could stop by the town on our way back from our "hunting-moon". (Yes, we went hunting down south for a few days after our wedding!) <3 Anyway, I digress. On the way back, he made some calls and we were on our way to meet the newest member of our family. The lady had already named her. You want to guess what she named her? Yep! That's right folks! Peppa!!! So, here she is today and cute,entertaining and stubborn as can be. She is a total indoor piggie and at just a few months old knows how to sit, come, stay and loves to play with her ball and sleep on the LoveSac. Everyday we are learning more and more about her and she is up at 6:30am sharp to go outside!! LOL! She just cracks me up! She hears Terry getting home and she perks up. (He is the one always giving her chippies)
Anyway, she is a pretty neat addition and has brought many smiles and laughs in our home!
All in all, marriage, family, home, work, school, ranches and animals are well.
I am grateful. He is so faithful. I have returned to living my life as Elisa Bette. (God of my oath) I believe he is Yochanan.(God is FAVORABLE) and life is good.
It is not an extravagant life. It is a simple life. But this life whispers a melody in my heart everyday that makes me dance. God has truly blessed this broken road. The seasons continue to change in my life and through it, I count the blessings.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I was working on a final paper and was in the writing mood but needed a break from the monotony of APA format....YUCK! In all...there is no end in sight for the true joy my heart feels!
I hope these words find you well! Blessings!
Some pic's of our beloved Peppa
She travels with us to the ranch down south, so a pic of her in the truck, one of her on her LoveSac(she her smile?) one of her at Christmas and one in the snow.
It's been a long time since my last write. Things have been very busy with the holidays and all. My husband and I spent a relaxing holiday recuperating from our nuptials and enjoyed time with family.
Let me tell you! There is NO END in sight to the joy I feel! I look around me and life is a good life!! At the end of the year, I sat out in our pasture with a nice fire burning with the animals around and breathed in the clean country air and felt SO grateful for this life I get to live. This past year has been a very eventful one with all kinds of change, adjusting to illness and new adventures but the season has been a good one!
I am doing great in school and am SO proud to say that I have managed to maintain complete A's!! What a feat! I am still working full time with Habitat for Humanity and I love serving the families in Denton. Terry and I are still managing both ranches and although it proves to be lots of work, I love it! Terry and I can spend hours and hours with our land and animals and be perfectly content! This is a good life. We had two more sheep drop down south and are expected to have more babies here. In the Spring, we are planning on loading the sheep down south and bringing them up north, but of course, this will all happen once we can get all the fencing done. LOL! My nickname should be "fence" since that is all I seem to be doing these days! LOL!
Our beloved Rocko went up to doggie heaven just before the wedding, so that was tough, but after 14 years, she had a great life. It pained me to see Terry's grief, but we buried her in the pasture by the fire pit so she could always be with us.
We have a new member to the family! She is the neatest thing ever and everyday, she fills the hole in my heart for my surrendered puppies.
Her story::
When Terry and I started making plans of a life together, I showed him my list. It is a list of animals I have always wanted. He immediately got to work and for my birthday, gave me my beloved donkey, Bruto! (You should see him today, his hair is all fuzzy since he has his winter coat!) On that list was also a pig. I wanted a mini pot bellied pig and I had her name, "Peppa". Just before our wedding I caught terry looking through Craig's list for a pig. He told me he found a lady who breeds mini pot belly pigs and thought we could stop by the town on our way back from our "hunting-moon". (Yes, we went hunting down south for a few days after our wedding!) <3 Anyway, I digress. On the way back, he made some calls and we were on our way to meet the newest member of our family. The lady had already named her. You want to guess what she named her? Yep! That's right folks! Peppa!!! So, here she is today and cute,entertaining and stubborn as can be. She is a total indoor piggie and at just a few months old knows how to sit, come, stay and loves to play with her ball and sleep on the LoveSac. Everyday we are learning more and more about her and she is up at 6:30am sharp to go outside!! LOL! She just cracks me up! She hears Terry getting home and she perks up. (He is the one always giving her chippies)
Anyway, she is a pretty neat addition and has brought many smiles and laughs in our home!
All in all, marriage, family, home, work, school, ranches and animals are well.
I am grateful. He is so faithful. I have returned to living my life as Elisa Bette. (God of my oath) I believe he is Yochanan.(God is FAVORABLE) and life is good.
It is not an extravagant life. It is a simple life. But this life whispers a melody in my heart everyday that makes me dance. God has truly blessed this broken road. The seasons continue to change in my life and through it, I count the blessings.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I was working on a final paper and was in the writing mood but needed a break from the monotony of APA format....YUCK! In all...there is no end in sight for the true joy my heart feels!
I hope these words find you well! Blessings!
Some pic's of our beloved Peppa
She travels with us to the ranch down south, so a pic of her in the truck, one of her on her LoveSac(she her smile?) one of her at Christmas and one in the snow.
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