In my opinion....

Breast.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read that word? For some, it may be something sexual. For some, it may be something in the lines of nurturing and for some, it may be chicken that comes to mind!
The other day, I was listening to KRLD (yes, I am an oldie moldy and listen to news radio) and they were talking about this doll that was made to “teach breast feeding”. To describe it, it had a little vest that the little girl put on with two pink flower-looking things where her nipples would be. The little girl then gets the doll and the doll makes suckling noises when the little girl brings the baby’s mouth to the flower-nipples as she mimics breast feeding.
On the radio station’s site, they had poll asking if people felt that a doll that teaches little girls to breastfeed was inappropriate. 86% of the people who voted said YES, they felt it inappropriate. So I posted this on my Facebook to see what people thought.
After a day of some passionate opinions, I thought I would re-cap and share some thoughts. In fact, this morning, when I was driving to work, it is all I was thinking about. The opinions expressed on my Facebook wall ran through my head like a script.
There were some that expressed that it was gross. Some expressed that it was a good idea and we need to stop sexualizing breast and breastfeeding. Through that, it sparked a separate debate about the purpose of breasts. Is it to feed or for sex? Some say both, some say no.
Here is what I think…
The fact remains and will always remain that our opinions about issues are formed through our life’s experiences. And because our life’s experiences change all the time, so do/will/hopefully will our opinions.
When it comes to this issue, I am a HUGE proponent for breast feeding. I see nothing wrong when a woman is nursing in public, as long as she is being discreet and not flapping around everywhere. I do not believe that breast are only for feeding nor do I believe they are only for sexual use.
However, here is my opinion based on my life’s experiences. Unfortunately, sex has been a strong issue in my life. After living a life where unfaithfulness, sex addiction and addiction to porn were prevalent in my married life (not by me),I do carry somewhat of an edge when it comes to “breasts”. The fact is (in my life) that our society does, indeed, associate breasts with sex. When I was in Africa, there were woman who would be sitting around and just plop out and feed their children with no nursing blanket and not one person bocked. Here, in the US, however, because of what media, society and lack of GOOD parenting, breast=sex.
Having a doll that “teaches” this does not help or promote anything, I believe. I think that if a little girl sees her mother breast feeding her baby sister or brother, she is going to mimic it just as she would giving them a bottle or mixing formula. I do feel that it is important that a mother take every opportunity to talk to the child and explain the what, why, when’s, how’s and where’s.
Here is an example. A few years ago there was a story about a single mother that was still breast feeding her 9 year old boy. Yes, you read correct! NINE YEARS OLD!
I remember watching the video of her being interview and there was a cut away that showed her sitting on the grass at a park and her 9 year old big son, came up to her, lifted her shirt, moved her bra and latched on. She had made headlines because her son was taken away from her. Then returned. Then taken away again. Then returned. OK….this can go ALL kinds of ways…can she even produce milk? How long is too long? Etc, etc.
Here is the thing tho. When you look at the kid, he thinks it is completely normal. To him, it is a normal thing. Despite the fact that it is taboo to society, he thinks it is ok. So, I ask, does that mean it should be ok since it is ok in his home? Well, my response to be would be no. He HAS to function in a society one day. That doesn’t mean that he MUST conform to the ways of the world, but it is NOT ok that he be talking to his friends (if he has any) at school about suckling on his mom’s breast. That is not ok in my eyes.
Yes, I know this is an extreme example, but again, I think it comes down to the fact that we can say over and over again that “society this and society that”…but the fact of the matter is that we all have to acknowledge that despite our belief on this issue or another, we do still have to function in this society. I know, I know…those in the church will quote me, “but we are in this world but not of it”. Yes, I know. I am NOT saying that we are to conform to this world. Simply, my statement is that we do still need to function IN it. Not OF it. Not FOR it. Not AS it. IN it.
So, all in all…as we continue to live this life, our experiences are going to shape how we feel about things. We can say that we will “never change” what we think, live, and feel. But I would really challenge that. Because just as we can not determine all of the what’s and how’s of life, we equally can not determine what our reaction is going to be and how we will be changed.
In my life, there are so many things that have changed in me just living through these last 3 years. My personality is very much the type that has to have control of any and all things…but the moment everything moved and slipped out of my control was truly a learning life for me. There are ideas I had about what my career was going to look like, who I was going to be friends with, who I would date, how I would function, etc, etc….then life happened. In all that life, admittedly, I questioned things I never thought I would. I remember a moment in my life when I was questioning why I spent my life in ministry, why I gave so much, why, why, why and why Christ. I remember talking to myself just as I had spoken to so many before that were slipping away from their walk. It was brought to my remembrance about how after I spoke to them, I felt so BAD for them. It was incomprehensible how they could ever even QUESTION God. I didn’t understand. And, shamefully, I have to admit, that I did judge them….my feeling bad was oozing with judgment.
Then when I found MYSELF in that place…all of the sudden, I understood. I understood the battle of the mind and heart. The battle to not fall in self pity. The battle to even TRY to believe there was hope.
I only share all of this to say…in all things, we will never fully know the stem of a person’s opinions until we are them. Some would say, “oh ya! I went through this and that and it was similar”. Yes, maybe. But we all live our own lives, with our racing mind, with our heart, with our experiences….so that would make it not the same.
It is because of all of this that I can say, one of the BEST changes that have happened in my life these past three years has to be that I am able to listen, see, and sometime feel…but refrain from making a judgment. I may never know where people have truly been….and their opinion is theirs.
Anyway….again…thanks to all who joined in with commentary. I know this blog took a little bit of a different spin, but just some thoughts…
Hope everyone is well!