Is it really about getting what we "deserve"?

By definition, deserve is ::
to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc


I always say that there are three sides to every story. There is your side, my side, and then there is the truth.

Here is a story from two sides.

Side one::
Last night, a man who is a dear friend of mine, drove home and tried to rest after the most tiring day of his life. He spent the day in a haze, not really believing what was happening. You see, on Sunday night, he went from having four beautiful daughters in his life to three. His second oldest daughter's life was taken from him Sunday night at the hands of a drunk driver. She was one semester shy of graduating from Texas A&M.
Today, as he wakes, he is left to contend with anger, questions that may never be answered, and figuring out how you bury his daughter and move on.

I'd say that this family has been unjustly handed something they didn't deserve.

Side two::
He is 43 years old. When I walk in, he shakes my hand nervously and has a reserved smile. He tells me his name, I tell him mine. I ask, "so what are you down for?" He begins to tell me his story. He says that he is down for murder. He went out to happy hour one night, had too much to drink, thought he'd be fine driving home and killed a woman with his his car. He has been down (another word for being locked up in prison) for 16 years. As he speaks, his eyes well up with tears. He says, "I will never be able to re-pay on this debt! Whatever anguish or pain I feel will never be enough."
You should know that this man, prior to this crime, was a very respected accountant. Never had a crime to his name before this. It was one night. A few drinks. And a stupid choice.

Has this man received what he deserves?

Listen. I try really hard in my life not to be judgmental. I try to hear things out and understand the different factors. My friend's daughter is the 4th time I have experienced a kid, under the age of 23, be killed at the hand of a drunk driver. Then, I have been on the other side of it and have spent time both behind the walls (in prison) and in the free world with the men that have committed crimes such as these.

So where do I stand on it?

Last night, after speaking with my friend and spending most of the afternoon and evening crying, I was angry! "I don't get it! I'm so pissed!", ran through my head over and over. If you know me, you know that I 1 BILLION percent do NOT condone drinking and driving. And I am NOT referring to, "well, you only had 3 drinks, so that's cool, drive on!" Uh-uh! If you drink at all, I am NOT ok with you getting behind a wheel! I think it is careless, irresponsible, immature, and quite frankly, I have NO respect for it!!! In fact, I would even go so far as to say, I have an utter disgust for it!!!! I have been on both sides of this one.

Where I feel sad for the man having had committed the crime and doing his time, it is almost impossible for me to feel sorry for them. They had a choice. They made it. And now they must live it out.

The families of the lost didn't have a choice. And now they must live it out.

I thought I was on a vendetta before about drinking and driving....what I feel today and know will feel tomorrow and all the tomorrow's after that, is going to be intolerance!!!

This man will bury his daughter.
His daughters will bury their sister.
Friends will say good-bye to a beautiful girl.

Again. This is the 4th in my lifetime. I am fed up and I am done.

I don't care who you think you are. How much you "normally" drink. What you think you can handle. I don't care that you think you can drink for 4 hours and spend one hour sipping on a glass of water and think you can drive. I don't care that you only live 15 minutes down the road. It doesn't matter to me that you've been drunk before and got home fine. I could give a flying flip that you are "only buzzed." Listen! You drink. Don't drive. Let the rest of us have a chance at getting what we truly deserve.

JJW, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family!